Date: 2018-04-03 13:13
Before I read this I had been struggling I got the two messages where I had left a comment. It 8767 s strange to say but just 65 minutes ago I had been contemplating why is everything going wrong AFTER I began praying to the point of feeling peaceful and hopeful. For instance had some financial difficulty need some medical work done that my husband has the money after receiving a check. After finding it pretty cheap I decided if I qualified for insurance and he gave me the money (cost is under $755).A)I didn 8767 t qualify for it B)on top of that he decided he wasn 8767 t 8775 didn 8767 t Have 8776 the money. HA. His Dad has been staying with us and been taking care of him. His Dad owes my husband money so technically the money he is getting back will be over the amount I need. I had posted on this site for help so okay been praying really believing that God was here and would hear me. So my husband 8767 s been acting really shady and (Just heard from husband he is gonna use money to buy a trailer,with lot rent and then rent it out to someone for an 8775 income 8776 but f I could write what 8767 s been going on with him my first thought was ya is it for the person you talk to 75 x a day) I almost blasted personal details but don 8767 t want to vent to strangers even though I need someone to vent to. My point is when I believe and thought things were getting better atleast the way i was feeling inside it seemed like specific prayers weren 8767 t getting answered. I talked to my mother-in-law as she use to be a good friend of mine and since my parents are passed away like a mom. She didn 8767 t help she would never tell me her son cheated but she said was around these lines 8776 he has a really low self esteem where he 8767 s put on 65 pounds and I don 8767 t think he 8767 s sleeping with anyone. I just think he 8767 s flirting with someone he 8767 s known awhile to prove he 8767 s still got it. There 8767 s nothing wrong with flirting. I do it all the time I 8767 m not gonna cheat on my husband. You knew how he was when you got with him why did you expect him to change? 8776 she procceded to tell me how her son has tamed it down over the years when he sees girls in public that he can 8767 t 8775 help 8776 that girls think he has such a cute smile. I said when you start talking to another woman all the time on the phone, hanging out with them and flirting sexually,and being sexual in nature with how you talk that leads to it would be okay for me to befriend and start spending time with another man and flirting sexually? 8776 she got mad and said 8776 well you 8767 re not that way. He does love you that 8767 s just who he is you can either accept it and pray that he might change or leave him 8776 We 8767 ve been 7gether 7 years and the stress and loneliness of it has resorted to me posting this online. Again got off point after I got the phone call about the him getting a place he can rent to someone. I won 8767 t go into details but there 8767 s proof there but he is the type of person who just gets mad at ME and now is telling me I should just leave him. Where he has cheated in the past and I forgave he has the same behavioral patterns which is why lately all these red flags have popped up. I can 8767 t 8775 talk 8776 to him without it being a fight because he blows ups at me. Everyday I pray and take it to God and it just seems everyday there is something to add to the list of stuff that I am suppose to Ignore with him which only results in my chest being so tight I can hardly breathe. I 8767 ve sought advice and they say talk to him about it without accusing oh I have and he is now that he says If i don 8767 t trust him to leave or hell say he wishes I would find someone so I would leave him alone. His attitude like that only happens when he has lost interest in being with me because it putting his attention elsewhere. I know he loves me his way I know I am suppose to forgive and not nag It 8767 s to the point I can expect him to be gone a few hours atleast when he goes to 8766 the store 8776 or the 8775 bank 8776 If I mention where else was he cause the time doesn 8767 t pan out he gets mad tells me not to start and to get over it or leave him. I feel like I am alone sinking as far as this marriage goes. I wish I knew what i was suppose to feel. That things were black n white not shown to me in what feels like riddles well normally if a,b,c,d,e happens its this reason but he insists it 8767 s really not. I try to find the opposite of that the part that shows he still wants to be with me and aside from coming home to sleep or to shower and get to talk to him maybe 85 minutes or the fact he paid the bills I can 8767 t find any other to hang on to show there is no one else. Our intimate life is non existant for someone who was ALWAYS into me and I do say NON EXISTS. This is the most distant he 8767 s ever been. I know when you accuse or confront someone it pushes them away but why why must you do things so OBVIOUS? from the phone calls to the behavior to any excuse to leave that when he stays gone hours at a time it doesn 8767 t add don 8767 t know what to do anymore. When I do pray I pray to forgive and let go yet the same issues happen only new ones will surface how long do I play stupid for? sorry for having to vent I have no one else to vent to and I didn 8767 t even go into the details or what my mother in law told me to do was accept it I knew how he was before we married and that in hitting on girls and talking to them it validates his self esteem which is not very good since he put on 75 pounds but oh don 8767 t I do it the same things because it 8767 d be wrong I 8767 m not that way and besides her son would get mad at me but for him I must sit back and 8775 appreciate 8767 what time he does give me the fact that he controls all the money Or how he sold his car to buy another bike and so now is always using my car as his bike is apart while he paints it and the weather is cold or rainy. For everyone else who 8767 s having it rough while trying to get closer to God hang in there I know God is real and hears my prayers perhaps he 8767 s just letting my husband have all the favor, the control of the finances so that even if I wanted to leave my options would be limited. Can 8767 t do the things i need to do financially. Okay again apologies this is a lot of venting and off topic and I tried to not include all think i need a back up prayer team or team of angels because I am trying to stand strong but each day gets more of a test of that.
I can say this about this spirit. Anytime you see this spirit in operation in a ministry or an organization, take into account the people. I say this because we should challenge this spirit. When you see people that are 8775 laxed 8776 , overly tolerant/ this opens a breading ground for this spirit to come in. The only way this spirit can dwell and operate is if those around it tolerate it, have assimilated with it, or there is another Jezebel (s) within the same group. Like spirits dwell. Jezebel does not work on his or her own. He or she work through people that they can control or people that feel that they 8775 need 8776 their services. She searches for victims. I have came across a pastor that carried this spirit. She had a ministry full of young people that needed walked heavily in the prophetic. Very loving. Her gifts of the spirit made people fearful of her. She had an armour bearer that would yell at members for not meeting her needs. ( This is another trait). She pushes other people up to do the dirty is very subtle. I do not believe that her intentions were bad, but when we lack understanding we can get caught up into ourselves and our own fears and lead others astray. She had excessive monetary and time demands on her people, to the point that homes were breaking apart. The Lord told me 8776 My burden is light and my yoke is easy 8776 .This left only the wives to attend the church, the men would walk away causing division between husband and wife. Be weary of ministries and organizations that upsurp male authority. The ministry operated in the prophetic. If she does not hate the prophetic, she tends to misuse the prophetic gift. Intercessors were interceding according to her will as oppose to the will of the Holy Spirit. Prophecies were tainted by some of the intercessors because they fed into her needs 8776 If you do not sew into her, the Lord will take your blessings 8776 . Etc. That is witchcraft at its finest. How prophecies were given were controlled. She was not the only jezebel spirit within the ministry. The praise team leader carried that spirit as well as some of her day one members. This can only stifle a minstry The Lord used me in a way that was not pleasing to the ministry. True people of God will not always tell you what you want to hear. T his pastor would push me to give the word, but not back me knowing that it was truth. In the end, situations were twisted around and turned back on me, because I would not do what she wanted ( travel with her and forfeit *censored*).the ministry turned on me and my family as a result. In this ministry, everyone was the enemy that was not apart of the clique. I believe that the spiritual root of this spirit is fear as is the master of taking the attention off of the problem and twisting it back on you. I had to overly explain things because I was not 8775 trusted 8776 . My lack of attendance due to *censored* showed unfaithfulness, hence the *censored* sacrifice. I was asked to be a sacrificial lamb for the whole so that others can do what they need to do with their families. This is one of the worst spirits to encounter.